I know it's been a long time since I wrote in here, that doesn't count the last time I wrote in here where I posted that most recent picture of me and that was just a short post.

I've collected blogs from people who have given me their web-blogs, and sometimes I'm amazed at what other people write, the diverse styles that present themselves in the blogs that I've collected, sometimes it makes my postings seem bland. But I keep telling myself it's because the blogs that I'm reading are those of mothers, who write on their pride and joys, their children, and children are always constantly full of surprises.

"A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on."

(can't remember who said this)

As you may guess, my theme for today is children. As my biological clock is *TICKING*, am nearing 28, and most of my own peers are already parents. Out of the core class that I graduated high school with: Janis, Aimee, Azad, Shawn, Derek, Amanda, and Sheri, I am the last single person. Janis is married and a mother to a girl, Aimee, also married, has a boy of her own, Azad is married and I won't be surprised if a kid is not so far behind! And from what I hear, Shawn is engaged! Derek has a partner, Amanda has two little kids, a boy and a girl, and Sheri has been with her boyfriend for the last 2 and 1/2 years and is a mother to a not-so little boy. I had predicted back in high school that I would be the last to get a boyfriend, the last to be a mother, the last to get married, and so far, I'm right on all counts. I'm the last for everything from this high school group of mine.

For a long time, I had always been terrified to hold a baby, or been terrified of kids below the age of 5, but with Janny, who had a boy on June 1st, she practically pushed Ty into my arms the day he was born, when I visited her in the hospital when Ty was just seven hours old. Ever since I held Ty in my arms, something inside clicked. Ever since that day, I've always wanted to hold kids, and I'm not so terrified of kids under 5 anymore. I practically beg Janny for my Ty fix.

Sometimes I catch myself looking at some of my male friends and thinking to myself: "Would he be a suitable father for my future children?" Most of the time, I catch myself before I complete that thought or answer that question (of course it's all inside my head) - because this would be thinking too far, and I have to be attracted to this person for my own personal reasons, not because I think he'd be a good father (well, that may be a part of it, but only a LITTLE part of it).

When I have children, I can only imagine how they would never cease to amaze me, I can only imagine how much of a benefit to my life they would be, by looking at the world through their eyes. I can only imagine what kind of mother I would be. I can only hope that I will be patient; that my children will also benefit from me, and give my children unconditional love, I've already got the unconditional love part down pat because I already love my family and my closest friends unconditionally.

Like I said, my biological clock is ticking, I keep telling myself that I have plenty of time, as my mother gave birth to me when she was 31, and in today's society, it seems to be okay for women to have children at an older age because in their 20's they are all establishing their careers and doing what they want, before they settle down and do what is necessary to faciliate a family life.

I'm just rambling on... This is not much of an update, more of a thought on my part. And there's not much to update you all on, I have no kids to update you about, and no updates on my non-existent love-life because that's what it is, non-existent. *winks* I'm at the same job... I'm still in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. No travels for me, except down to Kansas City, Missouri for the MAAD Basketball tournament two weekends ago, but that was just a weekend trip, not much to update you on really, it was a requirement for me to be there due to the fact that as chairperson for the softball tournament here in Sioux Falls this summer, I am a part of the MAAD Board.

Looks like I don't know how to shut up tonight *sigh* I'm telling myself, it's 12:15 a.m. and I need to soak in the tub (to rest my aching muscles from yesterday's workout) and then hit the sack - so therefore I'm telling myself to SHUT the frigging UP!

Good night y'all!